Dr. Drew Pinskey gave great insight on CNN last night, when he said how Mr Williams survived his open heart surgery in 2009, but apparently died from his depression. He stated how common it is to suffer from depression after major surgery. I know that for a fact. I too suffered from massive depression not long after my heart attack, to the point where I asked why did I survive to go through this? Depression is real, it's constant, and if you don't take care of it, it can be permanent. It's very disconcerting for a doctor to tell you that you may not have lived if you hadn't taken the necessary steps in time. What would have been the alternative? Depression comes via different roads, but always wants to fill you with darkness.
As I watched the talking heads last night try to publicly eulogize Williams, I was struck by how so many just don't understand mental illness. How did he seem when you last spoke to him? Did you see any signs of depression? How can he do this to himself with such a great life? I was upset; these people don't get it. Depression doesn't care if you are rich, or poor, male, or female---in a depressed state, nothing excites you, nothing lifts you. You struggle to get through the day, the hours, the minutes. It's horrific.
I am tremendously lucky; I have a great psychiatrist, wonderful therapist, great cardio team, supportive friends, and a loving, fantastic wife and son, who make sure I stay positive and healthy, and don't let me get too down. I feel I am now making the best art of my life, as I now (with the help of meds) am no longer afraid to experiment. But I have a long family history of bipolar disorder, and see it in family members. I am conscious of the possibility that I could slip back once again. I refuse to let it.
RIP, Robin Williams. Oh Captain, My Captain.
A couple of my favorite scenes of his, from Aladdin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99Op1TaXmCw
And this gripping scene from his Oscar winning turn in Good Will Hunting:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM-gZintWDc
I met Robin Williams in a bar in Los Angeles just off the Sunset Strip. This was just after I had seen Good Morning Viet Nam. He came in with 3 big burly body guards who stood by the door while he came over to the bar and sat one vacant stool away. We talked and the conversation turned to meditation because I was practicing it. He said to me,"I tried meditation but I quit when I felt myself becoming terminally mellow."
ReplyDeleteI heard from many sources that he loved to mingle with the 'common folk,' so to speak...there was an article somewhere I read that he basically was raised by the servants, as his parents were busy with other things. And that sound like a thing he would say.
DeleteWhat a beautiful tribute to Robin Williams, Vince. Of course, we will never know if it was depression that caused him to choose suicide. I am sorry to hear you've struggled with depression since your surgery. It's actually more commonplace than you might think; one out of three have depression, anxiety disorder, and/or panic attacks. Parkinson's disease also causes depression, and it has now been revealed that Robin Williams was diagnosed with it. We will never know why he decided to take his own life, but I respect his decision and hope everyone will honor his achievements and share how he influenced their lives as you have done.
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you more thing s sometime, Carla, when you can come over, but I spoke at length with people at Depot about this, and there are more people that feel this way than folks would imagine, and it seems creative people in particular. When you are that low, nothing will make you feel better---you have to come out the the cycle with therapy and/or medication. I can't criticize him for doing something that drastic given his state of mind, just feel incredibly sad
Delete